Hall of Fame Speech Of jmr

I’m Sorry:

Katie (my wife)

• For spending a ridiculous amount of money on that habit
• For the little chew crumbs that I always left everywhere
• For you having to look at that spitter that I kept in the kitchen drawer everyday
• For the spitters and empty cans left in which ever car I was driving that day
• For the stains on the carpet from spilled spit cups
• For the stains on my clothes
• For having to make the most inconvenient stops just to get a can
• For you getting strange looks from cashiers when you bought me a can or log
• For you having to smell that nasty wintergreen scent in the car
• For rolling down the window in the winter time so you didn’t have to smell it
• For staying up late popping that can about every hour which I’m sure kept you up
• For not going to bed with you cause I needed that last chew
• For the chew breath and kisses that you gave me so tight lipped
• For killing myself slowly for about 10 years while you sat there and watched
• For putting this addiction before you and your needs
• I love you more than you will ever know and thanks for your help and support through this quit

Mom

• For the rings in my back pockets
• For the spitters I forgot to hide or throw away in your house
• For not having enough respect for you or your wishes for me to quit
• For you finding spit bottles in your car after the trips down home
• For chewing right in front of you
• For you having to watch your son chew while cancer was slowly killing you
• For chewing next to your bed the night you died
• For chewing at your funeral
• For chewing every time I came to visit your grave
• For not being able to tell you to your face that I have finally quit

Son

• For chewing when you were born
• For chewing while you were in the room at the hospital and only hours old
• For chewing every night at bath time
• For chewing while I was giving you your night time bottle
• For chewing while rocking you to sleep
• For you seeing me chew whether you knew what I was doing or not
• For doing something that could take me away from you
• For being weak and not the strong father that I so want to be

I’m Thankful:

• For never having to be sorry for these things ever again

I want to write a little something to the guys at QS.org (You know who you are and I’m not going to list everyone here). I want to thank you for your efforts in saving my life. Every time I was faced with massive craves or the notion to run over to that convenience store that it was you guys that popped into my head.

There I was in Nashville Tennessee on my way back from Thanksgiving in Bama. I had been in chat the whole week before talking about me caving and how I was sure I couldn’t make that long drive through the night without chewing. I asked a friend that chews and he said I shouldn’t throw away this quit. I asked my wife repeatedly and she stood firm telling me “Hell No”. You guys told me that I should remain strong and just get through it. That it was going to be my biggest test and if I got through it I would feel so good.

Well, there I was in Nashville with a can of $1.75 Grizzly Wintergreen in my hand. Looking at it like it was going to tell me whether or not I should cave and throw away all the work that was put into this quit. I put the can back in the rack and walked over to the cashier to pay for the gas. I even mentioned to him that I haven’t chewed in a couple of months and he told me that I shouldn’t start back up cause the price was about to increase. I stalled acting like I was looking at some candy just fighting tooth and nail with myself. Needless to say, I somehow managed to get myself out that door and back into my truck without that can of $1.75 Grizzly Wintergreen.

What was it that got me through? The answer, I have no clue. It was a defining moment in which that proverbial “door” that everyone always talked about started to make sense and “closed” that much more. Was it QS, my wife, my son, me, I really don’t know. It was a moment in time in which I knew I was serious about quitting this time and all the avenues I was leaving open for myself to cave were slowly closing forever.

So what is the take-away here? Once you decide for yourself that you need, want, and have to quit, post that roll-call and prepare yourself for the most difficult journey that you will ever take. Trust me that you will hit bumps in the road and you may be like me leaving those avenues open to caving because it is damn hard and scary to say I will NEVER chew again. But if you take one bit of advice form me trust yourself, your quit brothers, and whatever else you draw strength from to get through that trigger, and I promise you that it will feel so good on the other side and those avenues will start to close.

When you make it through each and every crave you will eventually experience that “defining” moment when your whole quit takes a turn. You will feel a lot different about the possibility of caving and at what price that would occur. Will this happen within the 100 day HOF stretch? Maybe not, nor will the fight be over, but I urge you to continue to fight and push and claw your way through to get to that moment in time. Do it for yourself, drop the can FOREVER and live for you and your loved ones.

If you’re man enough to pick up the can, you need to be man enough to put it down.